Road to be a 20 yo girl (or woman?)

Hello folks :)

It's April! A special month for me as I'm gonna be a 20-year-old girl (or woman? lol) this month. What's so special about it? well, a lot. People usually start to get their first salary in their 20 something, they start to think about getting married (you're too young to get married in your 10s and too old in your 30s. So, 20 something is a right choice), and people usually decide to be completely independent in this age. That's why I'm so excited about being a 20-year-old huehehehe..

I really wanna look at my past. Wondering about things that I've ever done back then. I'm gonna be totally honest here hehehe..

I started my education life when I was 2 yo. I entered the preschool program only to find out that it was boring. I didn't want to continue my education to kindergarten and I asked to enter the elementary school when I was 4 yo. I did it! Thanks to the kind headmaster, Mr. Pius Batata :).

I moved to Samarinda (from Makassar) when I was 5 yo. I spent my childhood and teen life there. I met my first boyfriend there as well. Such a very kind humble smart boy and we're still friends till now. He makes me know how life could be and how God sometimes doesn't say yes for something (we think) perfect. And to be honest, it was really hard to forget him. But I think I've done it already now.

I knew that I wanna be a doctor when I was 4 yr old. I never know the reason why but now I know that I've chosen the best way for me. This is the place where I wanna be. A big choice that I will never regret for. I entered med school when I was 16 yo and it took 3,5 years to be in this position hehe.. I still had a love life in med school. A one-week-old love life precisely. Such a tragic thing but no need to feel sorry about that. It was a lesson. That I must do a strict fit and proper test for my husband candidate huehehehe.. Fyi, I'm single right now ;p

I love math. I love counting. When I was child, I imagined that I'd go to Europe someday. Maybe in my 20s or 30s but God said no (again) and granted me a better thing. I did my first Europe trip few weeks ago (remember that I'm now still 19 yo). Haha.. nothing I can say but alhamdulillah, all praise is due to Allah :D. I reckon nobody had ever thought about that for this little spoiled girl.

But life isn't always about achievement. Life is about ups and downs. I stumbled and fell down for many many times but when you have a good foothold, you won't be afraid of anything. Valentino Rossi ever said 'Fear is friend.' and it's what I exactly will do.

So, am I mature enough to be a 20 yo one? Well, you decide. I don't think I have been but I'm trying. At least I've decided that I'm gonna get married when I'm 27 yo. I know that I wanna be a cardiologist. I really wish to study in South Korea and Europe. I wanna be God's lucky guest in Makkah. I wanna take a picture with the Liberty statue in US. I wanna be the best wife and mother for my husband and children. I wanna be the best doctor for my patients. And I wanna live my life in a right way..

Now, I have no idea about what to share anymore. I just wanna say my great gratitude to Allah SWT, my parents, my sister, gs3, my best friends, anyone who helps me, my first bf, Valentino Rossi and last but not the least thanks to the readers! :D

This February is really.........

I started this February with thesis examination on February 1st, 2011. I spent many sleepless nights for this examination. The exam was almost perfect but my methodology examiner couldn't come so I had to repeat my exam with him on February 4th, 2011. But those sleepless nights really said something. I did the exam and got "A" :D.

The thesis examination wasn't an end. I still got to do 2 block exams next on. Well, I haven't got the results but I really hope that everything will be alright. While waiting for the results, I must prepare myself for the Comprehensive OSCE. The exam that we all have to go through in order to enter the clinical rotation. This examination really made me crazy as I'm always nervous on stage.

And yesterday was the day.. The OSCE.. I thought I did it well enough but the spesific exam station. I did the eye examination but I forgot to do the system review and I did the next station exam with 'you didn't make it' phrase in my mind.. Oh, it was terribly horrible. In the end of examination, I heard from my friend that they changed the assessment system and I think I still have an opportunity to pass this exam. Well I just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. You know, I never really wish for something like I wish for passing this exam in one shot.

My February hasn't ended yet. I still have thesis revision to work on, TOEFL test to do, an academic meeting and a seminar to attend. I also have to prepare my next month trip to Europe which means I must work on my poster presentation as soon as possible.. Well, c'est la vie!

Express Tour in Melbourne

Spring, November 2010..

My cousin was getting married in Melbourne so I skipped some classes and went to Melbie ;D.. I only had about 1,5 days to travel around. That's why I named this post as 'Express Tour' as it was express literally.

My first impression about Melbourne was 'COLD' haha.. I came in spring so I could see how the flowers blooming in so many colour.. it was soo pretty. Let's start the story from the first place I visited.

It was the Melb version of Mahakam river haha.. I finally could play with pigeons along the river side ;DD




On the night of that day, my cousin picked me up n we went to 'Il Dolce Freddo', an ice cream store nearby Melbourne Uni. Its the best ice cream I've ever had in my life. The ice cream that can make you forget about your strict diet programme :D.

Isnt it lovely?? I'm dying to go back to Melbourne for 10 scoops of Freddo ice cream ha ha.. I'm sure I'll be back there someday ;)..

Ok, the next day was the true tour. I firstly went to the Shrine of Remembrance. That's a building to remember the Aussie men n women who served in World War I. It was one of the largest war memorial in Australia. Unfortunately, I came too early so that I couldn't enter the building.. but it was cool! I loved it.





Can you see how blue the sky was?? It was more amazing when you saw it live!

From the Shrine of Remembrance, we went across to the Botanical Garden. What I love most from this place is the fact that we can see the Rod Laver Arena from here hehehe.. I saw a lot of plants at the Botanical Garden. I never see some of them in Indonesia. I got something funny there. Banana trees couldn't grow up there..







From the Botanical Garden, we went to the Victoria Market. I really love this market. Very nice huehehe.. We did the family photo shoot here ;D



Then, I went to the City Loop. The Center of Melbourne. This is the place where you can find SCBD, shopping center, resto, street musician, art center, opera building, Flinders Street station, Parliament of Victoria,State Library, and many more! It was sooo crowded there but the Aussies made it easy. I love the way the Aussies live. Fast but relaxed.



Gosh! If only we had a library like this in Indonesia, I was sure that we would be smarter than we are now! You must see the entire of this library. Highly recommended. The fact that it;s nearby the shopping center makes it more fun to visit.




From the street musician, the way he played the piano..... awesome awesome awesome!. And Myer's Christmas window.. ha ha.. soo cute.. It was like a theater show on the street ;DD.. My nephew also loved it.




Visiting this Parliament building is a must when you go to Melbourne.. My father was dying to have a pic at this place n he got it!

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And then,, our express tour ended at the Flinders Street Station. Was an amazing day, exploring few parts of Melbourne. When I went back to Indonesia, I promised myself to visit Melbourne again next time ;DDD..

Coincidence

I never make a title first in writing a blog. Maybe some people will think that I have no direction. But actually I'm not a kind of person. For some things in life, of course I always make a title first but not for a blog since I really love talking ;D.

Have you ever spent your time to think more about 'coincidence'? In 500 days of Summer, they say

If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... Tom had finally learned, there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now.

I agree with the coincidence stuff but coincidence is also a fate. God arranges everything in life perfectly. Do you think that it's a purely coincidence if RAA system works when we're in dehydration state? Does insulin just work coincidentally when you eat? Isn't there something influence them all? I know that it's God, the One who arranges them all.

Then, what's so great about it? For me, it's amazing. What will this world be without a coincidence? You won't be able to make a surprise or feel surprised to anything. The best way to reach something or to meet our soulmate is by a coincidence. Your key falls down, someone takes it for you, you both see each other, introduce yourself, and walk together along the corridor. You talk, laugh, and find a chemistry. Still there's a possibility to live happily together ever after.

Or maybe.. you apply your abstract to an international conference and when the announcement day comes, they tell you 'congratulation, you're accepted'. Isn't it nice? Well,coincidence doesn't always bring u a good story but also the bad one. But who cares? You'll know, sooner or later, that coincidence makes you more grateful and see this life as the best present for you.

Sarcasm is THE BEST!

Life is hard..
It's bitter, sometimes sweet. But most of time it's bitter..
You can choose the way to face it. Either seriously or not.

Me? I choose the latter. Not because I'm not a serious one but it's a principle. It's so exhausting when you have to face everything seriously. Although maybe people will think that you're a wise person. But for me, I don't need a hundred people calling me wise. I just need to be happy.

Sarcastic comment always make me feel better. Some people take it seriously and make me feel uncomfortable. But I can't blame them too. Everyone comes from different place. It influences them much.

But for me, the more sarcastic it is, the better it would be. Since sometimes people out there do something unimportant and make everyone else angry. I don't like to show my anger but yes I like sarcastic comment better than anything else!

I Will Never Stop to Try It

One thing that I always wish in this life is being someone who can give something to the world. Not to change the world or make a history but to show my gratitude to the Creator. I always believe that God creates us for a reason and it’s our job to find that reason.

I used to think that someone who can give something to the world is someone who never or barely fails. And based on that understanding, i started to see myself. I found that I fell down so many times. I’ve ever been on top though but no one cares about your success when you fall down. You must know what I saw then.. I was only an ordinary little girl. No special thing about me.

But the best teacher in this world is the great people. I mean the real great people. Ones that always know how to be optimist, see themselves clearly, and always think twice to blame somebody else. They teach me that no matter how many times you fall down or feel like an idiot, you will always be you. I have to say this sentence loudly to myself... ‘I WILL ALWAYS BE ME’. The point is basically we were created same, with eyes to see, ears to hear, heart to pump the blood, and brain to think. What makes us different is the experience. Experience to be on the lowest and highest place, also the feeling to be in the middle. If Valentino didn’t fall so many times in his first season of GP500cc, he wouldn’t be the champion in the next season. But he always tries and I ALSO DON'T WANNA STOP TO TRY!

When you fall down, you learn how to stand up again in a better way. This is what I'm trying hard to learn now. Sometimes the system makes everything become so difficult and all you have to do is handling it well or at least trying to survive in the best way you can do. Life is a mystery. I lay my life on God’s hands. I don't wanna underestimate or overestimate myself anymore. Life becomes greater when we stop to take too much and start to give as much as we can.

Leaving

Watching the clock on the wall
Been a while since you’ve called
I cant help but wait
It’s late and i cant get into sleep
Something’s different this time
It just doesnt feel right
Have we broken in two?
Am i really gonna lose you tonight?
You come walking in
Tears in your eyes
Pretending like its alright
But i know you’re leaving
I know that smile
I can tell you’ve been crying
You’re gonna say goodbye
I wish i could stop you but you’ve made up your mind
I beg you dont go
But i already know you’re leaving
Where does the time go?
Between goodbye and hello
How did we come to this? Is there something we missed
Along the way
With your bag at the door
I wanna pull you in close
And hold you once more even though
Chorus
Here comes the sleepless nights
Here comes the tears im gonna cry
Here comes the last goodbye leaving us behind
Oh this cant be right
Chorus to end

One thing I never like in this life is saying goodbye. We often use that word everyday though. Parents go to work, children go to school, children go home from school, end up conversation with boyfriend on phone at night, finish the lecture or party, etc. For them above, we always say goodbye. So, whats the point then? I say it everyday but i never like goodbye. Is it only because I see it from different point of view? Maybe. Sometimes a word feels stronger when we put a tension on it. You know, how many ‘hello’ do we say everyday? And can u still feel the difference between the usual hello and hello to an old friend that u havent met for a long time? Or maybe with ur ex boyfriend? I bet the sensation is much different and so is with goodbye.

Mr. Goodbye is one of my favorite Korean dramas. It was a sad ending drama. I cried a lot when i watched it. The dying man in this film never said goodbye directly to his girlfriend. In his heart, he wanted to stay for one more hour to be with his lover. This story is much different with the one that I recently read. I have just read Tuesdays with Morrie. Morrie wasnt afraid to say goodbye and he did it in a special way. He put Mitch’s hand on his chest, right on his heart, and said ‘this is goodbye’. Well, I know that u can see the difference. Hyun Seoh wanted to live as he had found what he’d been longing for whereas Morrie was so willing to let his soul go since he had enjoyed his own life. There are many ways to leave this world but for me there are only 2 choices. You can beg for a bit longer life or you accept ur death without fighting.

I always wanna be Morrie. I wanna die without regret. Morrie shew me the way. In order to get a willingness like he once had, I have to enjoy every breathe that I take. It seems so cliche, easy, and ignored but if you really do it, you will know that Morrie was right. Well, i’ll make it simple. Have you ever thought to go back to the past? Have u ever envied someone younger? If so, ask to yourself then, why? For me, I also ever felt the same, it was because I felt that there was something missing in my past. One thing that I wasnt brave enough to do. Something that I never ask clearly to someone. Something that I could’ve never had again. One thing that I always feel sorry for till today. And that something missing has made me to be someone like Hyun Seoh. I substitute something I never have with something else and it doesnt satisfy me in any way. I think I’ve become frozen for some things. For exampe, I never let myself give a second chance for man. How pity I am.

I know its hard to pure myself anymore. But I still have choices for the way I die and I’ve decided to die without regret. The way I leave must be the best way I can do. So from now on, I promise to myself to enjoy every second I have. I havent been able to make it perfectly yet but we’re all learning. Dont get me wrong, I’m not depressed ;p. I just wanna tell you that death isnt that evil, it can be a present for some people. And i wanna be a part of those lucky people.

Byeee.. See you later!