Gone Too Soon

I used to have a friend.. A very best friend named Hendra. We met in the junior high school for the first time. We made friends and we got into the same class in our third grade. We entered the different high school but we met again in university. I noticed him as a very good person, cool, smart, and he knew how to behave. We used to be in the same path but then I took a different one and he just commented it in an ordinary way. Just like nothing happened. It impressed me much considering that many people thought that I'd chosen a wrong way.

When we spent our university life in Jogja, we'd done many things together. He helped me in everything, we shared laughs, we argued for some unimportant things.... we had fun together. I never like action movie. I still remember how I told him that I never finished watching Spiderman and out of sudden he 'accompanied' me watching it till the end by kept talking to me via text message. I won't forget his 'congratulation' for me for finally finishing that movie..

He knew everything that I didn't and he made me feel comfortable by his side. For me, he was a brother. He made me watch Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes. He just smiled seeing me bored in the middle of Robin Hood movie. Some people said that he often sent a sharp comment although I didn't think that it was. Maybe that was something that made me feel comfortable by his side.

He might be a reserved person but he sometimes surprised me with a special thing he did. I was watching tv that night when I received his message. He said that he was in town and would bring me ice cream. I thought it was a joke so I didn't believe it. A day after, he kept saying that so that I challenged him to visit me at home and bring the ice cream. He said 'please wait for 30 mins'. I waited for 30 minutes, opened the door, and there he was.. in front of me with the ice cream basket. I was really surprised and I said 'how come?'.. He just said 'See.. I've told you to just believe..' and he smiled.

Hendra loved football. His favorite team was Barcelona and his fave national team was Spain. When world cup or euro cup hit the world, we became enemy since I supported Germany. We used to watch regular league when I studied in the midnight. In this case we became partner in crime so that we didn't argue anything by that time. When I visited Barcelona last March, I bought him some souvenirs and he said that the FCB plastic bag was the best plastic bag he'd ever had. He seemed very happy by that time. I gave it to him right before he went back to Samarinda and it was our last meeting. It was the last time I saw him smile to me. I'd never thought that our goodbye would be the real goodbye..

And now... that amazing man has gone. He struggled for his life and I wasn't there for him when he gave up. There won't be 'hoi hoi' (the way he started our convo) anymore.. There won't be a news about Spiderman. There won't be book discussion anymore and so on. He's gone first without saying anything. I just want him to come to my dream and have one last talk with me..

Bye Nda.. You'll be missed a lot.. x

Guest House

Life's like a roller coaster lately.. Too many people come into my life and make me think harder. This situation reminds me to Rumi's poem, Guest House.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

The last part is my favorite since too many people come into my life only to say hello, take a rest for a while, and go away. But this man has come into my life and he brings me to the places that I've never known before.. A man who impolitely steals my heart, pulls me to run with him, and never let me breath for a while. He's my special guest right now and I hope he would stay forever in my guest house.. I'm totally in love!

A Man Like Him

I pray to God for a very kind man who will be by my side to face this cruel world. I pray for a man who will make me wanna do anything for him and vice versa. I pray for a smart man who will teach me anything and understand me inside out and outside in. I pray for a brave man who will take me if he really loves me. He will say 'i love you' right in front of me and make it come true. I need a wise man to tell me when I'm wrong. A bit fierce man will be good. I don't need flirting, I don't need too many signs.. If he's sure, just come and say.. I'll appreciate it more..

Second Chance

Have you ever thought about giving a second chance for someone? I often think about it. In this cruel world, we can find this problem anytime, anywhere. So, I learn from the best teacher, experience. I've decided to give second chance for everything but love and credibility matter.

Life has taught me that giving the second chance to love is something useless because you'll get nothing but heartache. I'm not speculating. I'm saying the truth as I've ever given a second chance to someone and we didn't work it out. And what would be left then? You'll find yourself wasting your time to wish she/he'd be back to you again. You start to see everything in different way. You pass the ice cream store and it'll remind you about your first date. You're cursed! So, here I suggest you to leave your past as soon as possible. The used love story is just an old story. No matter how hard he/she tries for a comeback, it wouldn't mean anything in the end.

Now, talking about a credibility. For me, there's no difference among bestfriend, friend, acquaintance, and enemy if they betray the credibility that I've given to them. No one can guarantee that they won't do the same in the future. So, before you get more upset, you'd better leave! It's not easy but you know you won't get second heartache from them. You're saving your own life :D

I think that's all.. For other things in life, it's ok for me to give people a second chance. We can't be that strict for other things as we often need a second chance too..

Road to be a 20 yo girl (or woman?)

Hello folks :)

It's April! A special month for me as I'm gonna be a 20-year-old girl (or woman? lol) this month. What's so special about it? well, a lot. People usually start to get their first salary in their 20 something, they start to think about getting married (you're too young to get married in your 10s and too old in your 30s. So, 20 something is a right choice), and people usually decide to be completely independent in this age. That's why I'm so excited about being a 20-year-old huehehehe..

I really wanna look at my past. Wondering about things that I've ever done back then. I'm gonna be totally honest here hehehe..

I started my education life when I was 2 yo. I entered the preschool program only to find out that it was boring. I didn't want to continue my education to kindergarten and I asked to enter the elementary school when I was 4 yo. I did it! Thanks to the kind headmaster, Mr. Pius Batata :).

I moved to Samarinda (from Makassar) when I was 5 yo. I spent my childhood and teen life there. I met my first boyfriend there as well. Such a very kind humble smart boy and we're still friends till now. He makes me know how life could be and how God sometimes doesn't say yes for something (we think) perfect. And to be honest, it was really hard to forget him. But I think I've done it already now.

I knew that I wanna be a doctor when I was 4 yr old. I never know the reason why but now I know that I've chosen the best way for me. This is the place where I wanna be. A big choice that I will never regret for. I entered med school when I was 16 yo and it took 3,5 years to be in this position hehe.. I still had a love life in med school. A one-week-old love life precisely. Such a tragic thing but no need to feel sorry about that. It was a lesson. That I must do a strict fit and proper test for my husband candidate huehehehe.. Fyi, I'm single right now ;p

I love math. I love counting. When I was child, I imagined that I'd go to Europe someday. Maybe in my 20s or 30s but God said no (again) and granted me a better thing. I did my first Europe trip few weeks ago (remember that I'm now still 19 yo). Haha.. nothing I can say but alhamdulillah, all praise is due to Allah :D. I reckon nobody had ever thought about that for this little spoiled girl.

But life isn't always about achievement. Life is about ups and downs. I stumbled and fell down for many many times but when you have a good foothold, you won't be afraid of anything. Valentino Rossi ever said 'Fear is friend.' and it's what I exactly will do.

So, am I mature enough to be a 20 yo one? Well, you decide. I don't think I have been but I'm trying. At least I've decided that I'm gonna get married when I'm 27 yo. I know that I wanna be a cardiologist. I really wish to study in South Korea and Europe. I wanna be God's lucky guest in Makkah. I wanna take a picture with the Liberty statue in US. I wanna be the best wife and mother for my husband and children. I wanna be the best doctor for my patients. And I wanna live my life in a right way..

Now, I have no idea about what to share anymore. I just wanna say my great gratitude to Allah SWT, my parents, my sister, gs3, my best friends, anyone who helps me, my first bf, Valentino Rossi and last but not the least thanks to the readers! :D

This February is really.........

I started this February with thesis examination on February 1st, 2011. I spent many sleepless nights for this examination. The exam was almost perfect but my methodology examiner couldn't come so I had to repeat my exam with him on February 4th, 2011. But those sleepless nights really said something. I did the exam and got "A" :D.

The thesis examination wasn't an end. I still got to do 2 block exams next on. Well, I haven't got the results but I really hope that everything will be alright. While waiting for the results, I must prepare myself for the Comprehensive OSCE. The exam that we all have to go through in order to enter the clinical rotation. This examination really made me crazy as I'm always nervous on stage.

And yesterday was the day.. The OSCE.. I thought I did it well enough but the spesific exam station. I did the eye examination but I forgot to do the system review and I did the next station exam with 'you didn't make it' phrase in my mind.. Oh, it was terribly horrible. In the end of examination, I heard from my friend that they changed the assessment system and I think I still have an opportunity to pass this exam. Well I just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. You know, I never really wish for something like I wish for passing this exam in one shot.

My February hasn't ended yet. I still have thesis revision to work on, TOEFL test to do, an academic meeting and a seminar to attend. I also have to prepare my next month trip to Europe which means I must work on my poster presentation as soon as possible.. Well, c'est la vie!

Express Tour in Melbourne

Spring, November 2010..

My cousin was getting married in Melbourne so I skipped some classes and went to Melbie ;D.. I only had about 1,5 days to travel around. That's why I named this post as 'Express Tour' as it was express literally.

My first impression about Melbourne was 'COLD' haha.. I came in spring so I could see how the flowers blooming in so many colour.. it was soo pretty. Let's start the story from the first place I visited.

It was the Melb version of Mahakam river haha.. I finally could play with pigeons along the river side ;DD




On the night of that day, my cousin picked me up n we went to 'Il Dolce Freddo', an ice cream store nearby Melbourne Uni. Its the best ice cream I've ever had in my life. The ice cream that can make you forget about your strict diet programme :D.

Isnt it lovely?? I'm dying to go back to Melbourne for 10 scoops of Freddo ice cream ha ha.. I'm sure I'll be back there someday ;)..

Ok, the next day was the true tour. I firstly went to the Shrine of Remembrance. That's a building to remember the Aussie men n women who served in World War I. It was one of the largest war memorial in Australia. Unfortunately, I came too early so that I couldn't enter the building.. but it was cool! I loved it.





Can you see how blue the sky was?? It was more amazing when you saw it live!

From the Shrine of Remembrance, we went across to the Botanical Garden. What I love most from this place is the fact that we can see the Rod Laver Arena from here hehehe.. I saw a lot of plants at the Botanical Garden. I never see some of them in Indonesia. I got something funny there. Banana trees couldn't grow up there..







From the Botanical Garden, we went to the Victoria Market. I really love this market. Very nice huehehe.. We did the family photo shoot here ;D



Then, I went to the City Loop. The Center of Melbourne. This is the place where you can find SCBD, shopping center, resto, street musician, art center, opera building, Flinders Street station, Parliament of Victoria,State Library, and many more! It was sooo crowded there but the Aussies made it easy. I love the way the Aussies live. Fast but relaxed.



Gosh! If only we had a library like this in Indonesia, I was sure that we would be smarter than we are now! You must see the entire of this library. Highly recommended. The fact that it;s nearby the shopping center makes it more fun to visit.




From the street musician, the way he played the piano..... awesome awesome awesome!. And Myer's Christmas window.. ha ha.. soo cute.. It was like a theater show on the street ;DD.. My nephew also loved it.




Visiting this Parliament building is a must when you go to Melbourne.. My father was dying to have a pic at this place n he got it!

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kBgae6UDf7M/TUrAbxRnW3I/AAAAAAAAAD4/W3b52QO6qJs/s1600/149585_1744543738456_1384646803_31972286_6829534_n.jpg">



And then,, our express tour ended at the Flinders Street Station. Was an amazing day, exploring few parts of Melbourne. When I went back to Indonesia, I promised myself to visit Melbourne again next time ;DDD..

Coincidence

I never make a title first in writing a blog. Maybe some people will think that I have no direction. But actually I'm not a kind of person. For some things in life, of course I always make a title first but not for a blog since I really love talking ;D.

Have you ever spent your time to think more about 'coincidence'? In 500 days of Summer, they say

If Tom had learned anything... it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... Tom had finally learned, there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be. He knew, he was sure of it now.

I agree with the coincidence stuff but coincidence is also a fate. God arranges everything in life perfectly. Do you think that it's a purely coincidence if RAA system works when we're in dehydration state? Does insulin just work coincidentally when you eat? Isn't there something influence them all? I know that it's God, the One who arranges them all.

Then, what's so great about it? For me, it's amazing. What will this world be without a coincidence? You won't be able to make a surprise or feel surprised to anything. The best way to reach something or to meet our soulmate is by a coincidence. Your key falls down, someone takes it for you, you both see each other, introduce yourself, and walk together along the corridor. You talk, laugh, and find a chemistry. Still there's a possibility to live happily together ever after.

Or maybe.. you apply your abstract to an international conference and when the announcement day comes, they tell you 'congratulation, you're accepted'. Isn't it nice? Well,coincidence doesn't always bring u a good story but also the bad one. But who cares? You'll know, sooner or later, that coincidence makes you more grateful and see this life as the best present for you.